Xbox One Acquired: Setting it up for the very first time (Day One Edition)

Exactly one week had passed since the launch of the PlayStation 4, and once again I was at my local UPS Customer Center to pick up my Xbox One, a trick I had learned on reddit that would net me the console several hours earlier than if I waited for delivery to my home. I had just dropped off Kitty and White Fluffy Kitty at the vet for boarding, as my brother and I were leaving the next day to visit my mom in Kansas for her birthday and Thanksgiving, returning on November 30th. Eight years ago to the day - November 22nd, 2005 - I was picking up my Xbox 360 from GameStop on my way to Indiana to visit with family and wouldn't get the chance to properly play the console until I got back home and hooked it up to my very first HDTV. Perhaps the next time Microsoft releases a console I'll actually be home to play it!

I did manage to capture myself messing around with the user interface a bit before having to get ready for our flight, along with strapping a GoPro to my forehead beforehand as I drove to UPS and unboxed the console. I wanted to release this on the 22nd but didn't have enough time before leaving for Kansas, though I had managed to livestream my first Xbox Fitness workout. I had ten people watching me exercise. Weird!

Now we're back and I finally play some games!

Here's the video I made, along with relevant timestamps:

2:22 - Unboxing the Xbox One

12:37 - Turning it on for the first time

14:00 - Initial setup

24:18 - After the update

24:38 - Kinect setup

28:45 - Setup Complete. Intro video.

30:00 - Home screen

30:30 - "Let us show you around". Xbox One tour.

33:11 - Speech Tutorial

42:19 - Friends

43:07 - Gamerpics

44:37 - Posing for Gamerpic with Avatar

45:58 - Friends continued

47:22 - Jeff Gerstmann's "KI Dance" Game Clip

49:03 - Achievements

53:20 - Brad Shoemaker's "Ryse: Son of Rome" Game Clip

56:28 - Internet Explorer

58:10 - Watching a YouTube video via Internet Explorer

1:01:24 - Totally topical Charlie Sheen jokes by the Xbox One tutorial narrator. Who thought that was a good idea?

1:07:21 - Privacy settings

1:08:16 - Settings

1:16:20 - Customizing Avatar

1:21:00 - "Xbox, Bing Killer Instinct"

1:23:15 - "Xbox, Use a Code" - Scanning Day One Achievement

1:24:06 - Xbox Music

1:28:09 - Xbox Movies & TV

1:29:22 - My appearance as a strip club patron in the We're the Millers trailer

1:32:27 - My games & apps

1:33:27 - Apps

1:36:30 - "Xbox, Snap"

1:39:12 - Twitch

1:40:55 - Trying to Snap Netflix while watching Twitch

1:41:44 - Netflix

1:43:45 - Xbox Fitness

1:49:25 - Snapping Twitch while using Xbox Fitness

1:51:48 - Hulu Plus

Gamerscore Milestones

I was going through old files on my computer and came across some pictures I had taken when I reached a certain number of Gamerscore. This first one was taken when I reached 20,000 Gamerscore on December 21st, 2008. I had played various Xbox Live Arcade titles in an attempt to get the number just right -

I was REALLY in to Left 4 Dead.

783 days (or 2 years, 1 month, and 22 days) later on February 11th, 2011, I reached 45,000 Gamerscore. I don't remember why I took a picture of this, but I figure it's because I landed on a nice, even number.

Rocking my Limbo avatar awards.

It was 246 days later on October 14th, 2011, that I reached 50,000 Gamerscore. I had originally planned to get it with my brother while playing Gears of War 3, but my score reached 49,990 on October 7th, and it wouldn't have been possible to land on 50,000 if we kept playing. I somehow reached 49,995 (I can't figure out how) and tried playing Comix Zone and Street Fighter II': Hyper Fighting to get the last of the points, but needed something faster that wouldn't push me over 50,000. I then looked at Game Room's achievements and remembered that I never changed a theme in my arcade for 5 points. My brother disapproved of my method and thought it was cheap, but achievements are achievements, and I needed that perfect string of zeros.

Wait for it...

Uh-huh...

Yes!

That's right, I bought a Batman costume and Towelie prop. Worth it! Here's him stealing my Cheesy Poofs.

Our gamerpics match up rather nicely.

Gnome Chompski

There's something special about getting a game on launch day and playing through it with a bunch of affable strangers, all of who are trying to figure things out. It's not a situation I find myself in often, usually being "late to the party" and all, but it's always fun. Take Left 4 Dead 2, for example. Unlike the first game, I wasn't able to play with any of my friends, so the only way I was going to play co-op was with people I didn't know. A risky situation, sure, but better than playing alone.

Speaking of alone, I don't think I'm the only one who believes the Left 4 Dead games can be pretty damn difficult for a new player, even on the Normal difficulty setting. They become less challenging as you play through them multiple times, mastering the best ways to deal with the different special infected and crescendo events, but it can take hours to complete a campaign when a group of novices are thrown into the fray. Imagine, then, four strangers trying to complete the silly task of carrying a garden gnome through a campaign they've never experienced before, all for an achievement. Well, I did it mostly for the novelty of the situation, but points certainly don't hurt, and I would have doubted the commitment of the team otherwise.

I had just spent quite a while on the first campaign's final crescendo event, where players have to collect gas cans to fill up Jimmy Gibbs Junior's car to escape the mall. A couple of players had either quit or been kicked out due to their inability to follow the simplest of instructions, which consisted mainly of "stick together", but the eighth gas can had finally been collected, and it was time to move on to probably the most anticipated campaign for everyone in the game, Dark Carnival. Like with most games before I beat them, I had yet to look at the achievements for Left 4 Dead 2, so I was surprised when I came across Gnome Chompski at the beginning of the second chapter. One of the other players mentioned there was an achievement for carrying him through the campaign, and the general consensus was yeah, we have to do this.

We hit the button to start the shooting gallery, trying our best to reach the 750 points needed to unlock Gnome Chompski from his box on the wall, which took longer than it should have since we had yet to realize that shooting peanuts deducted points. We had to fight off small hordes of infected every so often, and one of the players grew impatient, but we ignored him and eventually achieved our goal. I took up the task of carrying Chompski, protecting him with my life and only putting him down in the most dire of situations. He was good at stunning enemies, at least. We reached the end of the chapter and all asked each other if an achievement unlocked, as we weren't sure if we had to carry the gnome through the entire campaign or just the chapter. It turns out it was the former. "Fine with me. This is fun!"

 "You saved me."

Having Mr. Chompski stare at me the whole time was kind of creepy, especially with the lighting in the Tunnel of Love reflecting off his face, but I loved him and protected him like my own. We grew close, him and I, and us and the rest of the survivors persevered until the crescendo event of chapter four, the part where you open the gates and have to push your way through the seemingly infinite horde of infected to reach the safe room. We were not prepared.

In the many times I have played and beaten Left 4 Dead 2, whether it's with friends or people I've never met, this bit in particular is one of the most difficult parts of the whole game. It's hard enough with a fully capable crew, but throw a gnome into the mix, disabling the carrier's ability to use a decent weapon and adding another thing to keep track of, and it can get pretty rough. And let's not forget this was our first time playing through the game.

It was like this, but with way more zombies.

So we tried. And tried. And tried some more. It became a sunk cost scenario, where we had invested so much time into this little gnome that there was no way we were going to give up now. And then something horrible happened. The gates had opened, I was being swarmed by infected, and Gnomey was nowhere to be found. He vanished, our memories the only evidence of his existence. We had been at this for well over an hour, and I sat him down in a corner so I could assist the team better, and now he was gone. The others pushed forward, and one by one we fell, but that impatient player I mentioned earlier? He made it to the safe house. There were to be no do-overs or retries; we had to continue and finish the campaign. We eventually made it to the helicopter, but something about our victory felt a little empty.

Sorry, little buddy.

It was two days later that I returned to the campaign by myself. I put it on Easy, determined to get that goddamn achievement and rescue Gnomey from his eternal imprisonment. I was successful. You may call my success hollow, but I've rescued Gnomey enough times since then with different people on harder difficulties that it doesn't really matter. The gnome always escapes. Always.

Proof!

While I may never know what happened to Gnome Chompski on that fateful day, my theory is that a boomer exploded and sent him flying to an unreachable part of the level. It happened to me during one of my later attempts, at least.

So, what's next for my gnome-based achievement adventures? Why, placing Gnomey in that rocket in Half-Life 2: Episode Two, of course! He always said he wanted to fly...

Farewell, old friend.